Williamsbored?
[New York Times, 25 December 2005]

By RICHARD MORGAN

Residents of Williamsburg can be counted on to chatter endlessly about the rich nuances of life in their neighborhood. At williamsboard.com, an online forum about all things Williamsburg that just made its debut this fall, residents have pondered everything from the subtleties of irony to the ironies of subtlety. Here are excerpts:

''williamsboard is a week old. sigh, feels like i've been here all my life.'' -- elizabeth, under the heading ''welcome to williamsboard we're frighteningly real''

''drummers do not exist in NY, and every drummer whore I know is in five bands'' -- under ''what are yer problems?''

''I've just heard of an even greater bar activity from my friend. Apparently this place in Jersey had night where they locked up the bar and the bathroom and beers were a penny until someone has to'' relieve himself. ''The longest lasted about two hours, and the least was seven minutes. This should be the new Olympic activity.'' – dr--gonzo, under ''Beer Pong in Williamsburg''

''We were an all-girl (all vegan, haha) household until some drama happened and the roommate who stayed and I decided that we needed a dude because we're both chill and we need chill people. Girls are more likely to be psycho roommates -- although my ex-roommate who accused me of trying to murder him by owning an air-conditioner was a guy.'' -- Jess Silk, under ''roommates of the opposite sex''

''after reviewing my posts in this thread, it is clear that i have become a lonely, bitter old man. now all i need to do is fail in my career aspirations and become a drunk, spewing maledictions and bile.'' -- shark--vs--zombie, under ''what annoys you more?''

''do those ionic things work? I really need something that is going to enable me to smoke indoors this winter, and unfortunately as the cigarette smoker in the household I am AN OUTRAGEOUS OLFACTORY INTRUDER whereas the pot smoker in the household is SCATTERING MOST BLESSED INCENSE OF THE GODS):'' -- alana post, under ''air purifiers that work''

''16 minutes and counting'' -- GungaDin, under ''new Simpsons in T minus''

''If anyway is thinking of saving a snowball for the summer, it doesn't work very well. You basically get a shrunken down ice ball cube thing'' -- sweetfa, under ''Attn Brooklyn: Biggest snowball fight ever''

''i'll be sufficiently drunk/stoned to go outside within a few minutes. i'll probably go sit around on the sidewalk somewhere with lots of foot traffic so that i can, oh i don't know talk to homeless people and mock everyone not dressed like me. come find me and get even more drunk. it'll be blast. no it won't.'' -- bas, under ''here's the deal''

''a friend with weed is a friend indeed!'' -- Slingtown, under ''I am baking my friend a hash cake''

''i don't have any confessions yet. i am pure Id.'' -- nathanjones, under ''confessions''

''i think moving anywhere in new york city is moving to a 'post-hip' city. you might as well live near most of your friends. i'm so tired of hearing people criticize williamsburg, it seems so petty. it is what it is.'' -- tofubiker, under ''so why williamsburg?''

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