Lust In The Crust
[Playboy, June 2004]
Nothing makes you hornier than a pizza with asparagus and eucalyptus
By RICHARD MORGAN
While a perfect night for many men would consist of pizza for dinner and sex for dessert, a large pie with extra cheese too often leaves us comatose on the couch. Could the need for some sort of sex-fuel pizza be more obvious? The cleverly named Pizzagra, dreamed up for hungry lovers by the English organic grocery chain Iceland, starts with tomato sauce but replaces libido-squashing toppings such as pepperoni with just about every reputed aphrodisiac known to horny man. A Pizzagra with the works may include red peppers (to get the blood flowing), onions (believed so sexy in ancient Egypt that priests were forbidden to eat them), artichokes (once the vegetable of choice among French nymphos) and asparagus (with vitamin E to spur the production of sex hormones). Then the ingredients really take a turn for the bizarre: banana slices (also good for hormones), chocolate (drives women nuts) and strawberries (Iceland calls them fruit nipples). A bag of libidinal spices further alters the flavor picture: garlic (sure), cardamom (well, okay), ginger (hmm), and eucalyptus (what?). "It tastes great," Iceland spokesman Steve Sweeney assures us, which is what he's paid to do. Notably absent are oysters and, despite the name, Viagra itself. Fact is, the company says its concoction is not an impotence remedy but a slice of horn-dog heaven. A none too subtle one at that: if you serve pizza with banana and chocolate on top, she's bound to suspect something is up.
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